4 Tips on How to Relax When You Don’t Know How
Do you actually know how to relax? One thing I struggled with, and had to learn how to do, was relax. Yes, you heard that correctly. And, I am sure I can’t be the only one out there, right? There are so many corporate boss ladies out there who could also benefit from some tips on how to relax because all we know how to do is go!
As my therapist aptly put it, I had been so focused grinding at work, I would use whatever free time I had left outside of working hours to get productive things done around the house or workout.
I didn’t know how to just sit still and be present!
That really threw me for a loop. How was that possible? Surely, I knew how to sit still. I do that all the time when I am watching tv!
But that is the thing – our default when we are relaxing shouldn’t be to binge watch tv.
I mean, of course that is great every now and then. I mean who doesn’t love a good episode of Girlfriends, right?
And I know I can’t be the only one. So many of us women are boss babes, working hard, climbing the corporate ladder. Then we come home and make sure everything in our personal life that needs to get done, does get done. We simply do wayyyy too much!
And what happens when we pause? Our minds race, and we wonder what needs to be done next.
When I took my leave of absence from my 9-5 job, I felt so strange, so out of place. I needed it so badly because my of my declining health and wellbeing. Literally! I felt sick to my stomach every day. I craved time to myself. But when I finally had it, I had no idea what to do with myself!
I was so used to going all the time.
That first week, my therapist asked me a very simple question:
“What do you plan to do with your new found time?”
And what was my response?
“Hmm, well I think I will spend more time in the gym, maybe clean the house more frequently…”
She stopped me right there and told me I was filling up the time I now had with the stuff I never had time to do before but needed to get done. That wasn’t relaxing.
She challenged me to find hobbies and examples of things people did that truly helped them relax and find a sense of calm. I needed to do research for tips on how to relax…how did it come to that?
I sought out advice on the internet.
Well, that was not easy. That whole week I did research looking for tips on how to relax. I wish I was joking, but I actually was searching different forms of relaxation!
Crocheting came up a few times, and I thought I would pick that up as a new hobby. I thought focusing on each stitch and making something nice would be a very peaceful activity.
Guess what, I turned that into a challenge. As soon as I got all the materials I needed, my question became how quickly could I make a blanket?
It came out really nice with a beautiful array of rainbow colors! I was very pleased with it, but after I finished it so quickly, I thought, ok what’s next?
I needed to make a mindset change.
So, that was not relaxing for me. Or maybe it could have been, but I needed to work on my mindset first. I needed my brain to understand that it was ok to relax.
It takes a lot of work. For corporate boss babes and busy women like you and me, we’ve focused so much on checking items off our to do list, that it is all our brain knows.
We have become a human doing and lost sense of how to be a human being.
I started journaling on a more regular basis to dump my thoughts down on paper at the beginning of the day, and I also started using a new planner different from the one I was using for my corporate job to organize my days better.
I planned for relaxation time and made sure I had it built into every day. Every entire day did not need to be focused on relaxing, but I needed to do something relaxing for myself every day, if that makes sense.
I also got really good at reading daily affirmations and meditations designed for busy women. This helped me get into the right mindset for taking care of myself.
I learned that relaxing isn’t necessarily an act such as watching tv, but it is doing something that brings your soul and mind peace. I would say that was one of my biggest takeaways in my search for tips on how to relax.
In that moment, you forget the busy world around you, and you are focused on yourself and what you need. It’s not that working out or cleaning were the wrong answers when I was speaking with my therapist, but it was the fact that I said it like those things needed to get done, like they were chores.
If going for a long run brings you peace, do it! That’s your form of relaxing! But you need to find out what truly brings you peace.
When I figured this out, I was so excited for my next conversation with my therapist. I had incorporated the following new activities into my weekly routines that truly had me feeling zen, and I think these are great tips on how to relax for you as well:
1st Tip For Relaxing – Taking Baths Weekly
Since one of my goals was to workout at least 6 times a week, I needed to incorporate a way to recover and allow my body time to heal. I had always been skeptical of taking baths because all I had ever seen was these gorgeous bubble baths with fizzing scented bath bombs and colors. I always thought, how could that be good for your lady parts!
But after doing more research on the healing and rejuvenating powers of natural bath salts and aromatherapy, I became convinced.
Bath salts are known to:
- Relieve stress (what we’re most after here)
- Ease muscle and joint pains
- Exfoliate the skin
- Improve your sleeping habits
And so much more.
I only look for clean products free from dyes, harsh chemicals, and if I use anything with a scent, it comes from essential oils.
Imagine, lighting soy based candles in the bathroom, maybe having a glass of wine, playing some chill music, and really romanticizing the moment…
I spend about 20 minutes in the bath relaxing, and then I do a proper rinse off after. Trust me, I leave the bathroom feeling like a whole new person who washed away the entire day!
I highly recommend you try incorporating this into your weekly self care routine and see if you don’t feel pampered and restored.
2nd Tip For Relaxing – Going for Long Walks
Fresh air and sunlight are ESSENTIAL. I didn’t realize how much of it I was missing until I started going on daily walks with my husband. We leave our phones and just enjoy 20-30 minutes a day with each other and nature.
There are a lot of paths and greenery in our neighborhood to explore.
Sometimes our walks are quiet and contemplative, other times we rant about our days. But regardless, it is an outlet.
We always feel happy and relieved when we get back from a walk, and there is always something to see and be thankful for – from the green of the leaves, to the beaming sun or running streams, and birds chirping.
Wow, I never thought I would be that person, or better yet, I never knew I could be that person!
If you are able to get out for a walk, you should. Schedule it into your day. Every step you take towards calming down your stress levels is a step worth taking.
3rd Tip For Relaxing – Stretching and Low Impact Exercises
While I have found love and dedication for consistently working out, preferably in a gym setting, there is something calming about a simple low impact workout or stretching for 20 minutes from the comfort of your own home.
These are ideal for my “rest days” from the gym which usually I like to actually be “active” rest days where I go for a long walk (~45 minutes to 1 hour) and stretch.
This is really great because it reminds you that even small movements are effective and bring you more in tune with your body and your body’s needs. Stretching, in particular, is relaxing because I feel my muscles loosening up from the long week.
I am not afraid either to bring out the good old massage gun to really get in there and give my muscles the attention they need!
4th Tip For Relaxing – Journaling Next to Your Favorite Candle
Grabbing your favorite soy based candle and journal and getting all your thoughts down on paper is the definition of releasing all your stress. I do a combination of journaling and planning. Having a game plan for a day or a week just brings me a sense of peace. Additionally, brain dumping frees my mind of thoughts weighing me down.
Also, this is really important just so I don’t forget things!
I recently looked back at some old journal entries from a few years ago. There were so many little details that I had forgotten!
It is such a good practice to journal and I hope to get back to doing this ideally every day but at least once a week.
Those are just a few of the ways I have begun to actively practice self care, and I am so glad that I have.
I have noticed a difference in my mood daily and how I feel towards completing certain tasks. It’s almost like I have found joy for living again as opposed to being a robot going through the day.
I hope these tips on how to relax help you find ways to be more in tune with yourself as well.
Comment below if you have other tips on how to relax! Let’s help each other out!
